Ten more days.

Well....It's finally Febuary. Barely. Ten more days and I will be heading to Carle Hospital for my surgery. It seems far away, but I have SOOOO many things to do to get the house and everyone ready. I'm sure the time will just FLY by. Tomarrow I'm gonna start some serious extra cleaning on the house. I'm gonna try to do spring cleaning early so the house will be in tip top shape and mabe I wont worry about it so much. I'm not sayin Jay can't take care of the house. But sometimes men and women have a different opinions about housecleaning and as all women know we all have our own certin querks about how things should be done around the house. So I figure if I get everything in order I can just let Jay take over till I'm 100% again.

We went to town yesterday and I got some things that I know we will need after surgery. Hydrogen Peroxide.....button down shirts (so I wont hafta pull shirts over my head since I'm sure it will be sore for awhile)......neck pillow.......and such and so forth. It really hit me yesterday that this is really gonna happen. In alittle over a month I will get my processors and I will hear.

I have been worryin alot lately........this is kinda normal for me......but I've been a bit more worrysome than usual, or so Jay says. What if I get my hearing and it's too much? Will it ever seem normal? Will my brain even be able to relearn to hear? I know these sound like such silly questions, but they are valid questions. I'm not very good with change, good or bad. Dont get me wrong I cope and adapt, and after awhile the changes become normal to me and things calm down again. Four years ago I had no clue how I was ever gonna be able to function in my life as a deaf person. But over time I learned little tricks to help me get by and then these little tricks became apart of my normal life. Like well placed mirrors around the house give me a heads up when someone's behind me. And I know that hearing with a cochlear implant isn't "normal" hearing. Now don't get me wrong, I DO want to hear again......even if it is a bit different from normal hearing.........I guess I'm just worrying about everything right now.