The big waiting and worrying game

I just called the financial aid guy at the hospital and he said that both of my insurances have come thru. So as far as the financial part of my surgery it is all set up. That takes one worry off of my mind. I'm so excited and incredibly nervous all at the same time.

Excitement dosent even begin to describe what I'm feeling. I get to daydreaming sometimes and I will tell people can you imagine being able to hear this or that. Of course they smile and say yes Bobbi but you dont realize how annoying some of these things are. They are very happy that I will be able to hear again, but on the other hand they really dont understand. It's been 4 year since I have heard ANYTHING, and even then my hearing wasn't the best. I haven't heard Josie (my daughter) since she was 2 years old (she is now 6). And Toby (my son) is 2 years old and I have never heard him. I really dont remember what anyone sounds like. And can you imagine being able to hear music again. I know it will take time, but HELLO actually being able to hear music. I come from a VERY musical family. They mainly taught me country music, but as I got older I fell in love with all kinds of music. I would listen to everything from classical to rap and EVERYTHING in between. I really miss my music. I hope to one day be able to hear my guitar again. I've played since I was 6 years old.

One of my main concerns is sleeping after surgery. I know alot of people just lay on the opposite side of the implant and it's not a major problem. But since I will have both ears done at the same time this may be a problem. My husband and I have a TempurPedic bed and pillows (memory foam) and I'm hoping this will help. I've heard that some people have surgery and then the next day they are back to normal. And then I've heard other stories where it takes quite awhile to get back to normal.

My kids are use to being able to come to mommy for anything they need. My husband is very good with the kids, but I'm usually with the kids 24/7 and they usually come to mommy for everything. And I'm also use to being able to take care of them and meet their needs. So this kinda worries me too.

Surgery kinda worries me to. Not so much the surgery but when I wake up after surgery. I have had surgery for different things before and when I wake up I have a tendency to cough alot and have alittle sea sickness (nausea).

If surgery was closer I think I would be alittle better, less time to worry about all this. As of right now my surgery is on the 12th of Feb. But I have also been put on the contact list for cancellations, so if someone hasta cancel their surgery they will call me to fill that slot. But that dosent happen very often so it looks like another month of worryin.