A chance meeting in Walmart

I met an amazing woman in Walmart the other day. Jay, the kids, and I were all just doin our normal shopping when suddenly Jay nudged me and pointed out this woman shopping with her husband. She had a cochlear implant!!! I was like WOW!!!!! I live in a mostly rural area of Illinois and this is something you don't see everyday. Effingham is the closest town around here that we consider major. Effingham has a population of 12,000 people. We live 14 miles away from Effingham. The next closest big cities include St Louis (about 1 1/2 hrs away) or Terre Haute Indiana (about an hour away). Other than that we are all little farming communities. Most people around here have no earthly idea what a cochlear implant is. So I got my nerve up and I went to talk to her. She was extremely friendly and helpful. She had the EXACT same surgeon and audiologist that I will have. She really set my mind at ease. She even showed my children her processor and magnet. Josie asked her some questions and she answered all of them. It was just amazing. I have been kinda worried about surgery, but after talking to all my loving friends on Hearing Journey and this kind lady at walmart I'm not quite as nervous. Isn't it great how God brings you the people you need the most at just the right time.

I have the dates....WOOOOHOOOO

I'm soo excited. My audiologist called today and said since my cochlear implant surgery is on Feb 12th she wanted to go ahead and make my activation appointment for March 5th. This is the day they will put the processors on and I will be able to hear for the first time in 4 years. Surgery and activation seem so far away, I'm almost convinced they dates will never come. But WOW I HAVE THE ACTUAL DATES!!!!! She set the activation earlier in the day so we will have plenty of time since we will be programming both ears. This all seems like a dream. After the call I was laughing and cryin and dancin. Josie asked me if I was ok, I showed her on the calender and told her that is the day mommie will be able to hear again. It may take awhile for my brain to understand what it's hearing, but I will hear. She was sooooooo excited. She wants to make her own special calender to count down the days. So 2day in art class (I homeschool) we are gonna make a special calender.

Can you imagine actually being able to hear. I can't remember what my hubby sounds like. I'm sure Josie's voice has changed. I wonder what Toby sounds like. In my mind I associate Toby's voice with mickey mouse. Now I know that's probably not what he sounds like, but since I've never heard him in my mind that is what he should sound like. I just wanna hear EVERYTHING.

I want to hear my kids argue in another room. I know I know....other people have said the same thing you are thinkin right now.....You are crazy. But just to hear them. I want to hear them laugh...cry....argue...squeal in delight.....sneeze....snore....EVERYTHING. I want to HEAR Jay (my hubbie) say I love you. I want to hear all the things that I have forgotten make noise.

I know this post is mostly just me rambling.......but can you imagine....CAN YOU IMAGINE!!!Just hearing. It sounds so simple to most. An everyday occurrence. But after four years of total deafness.....all I can say is can you imagine. What do I sound like?? My babies can call for mama from another room and I can answer them. No more headaches from straining to lipread everyone. Knowing that everyone is more comfortable around me knowing that they won't hafta repeat everything 20 MILLION times. OH WOW....I could go to the movie theater. Jay wont hafta miss parts of conversations because he hasta repeat to me what was just said.

CAN YOU IMAGINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

The big waiting and worrying game

I just called the financial aid guy at the hospital and he said that both of my insurances have come thru. So as far as the financial part of my surgery it is all set up. That takes one worry off of my mind. I'm so excited and incredibly nervous all at the same time.

Excitement dosent even begin to describe what I'm feeling. I get to daydreaming sometimes and I will tell people can you imagine being able to hear this or that. Of course they smile and say yes Bobbi but you dont realize how annoying some of these things are. They are very happy that I will be able to hear again, but on the other hand they really dont understand. It's been 4 year since I have heard ANYTHING, and even then my hearing wasn't the best. I haven't heard Josie (my daughter) since she was 2 years old (she is now 6). And Toby (my son) is 2 years old and I have never heard him. I really dont remember what anyone sounds like. And can you imagine being able to hear music again. I know it will take time, but HELLO actually being able to hear music. I come from a VERY musical family. They mainly taught me country music, but as I got older I fell in love with all kinds of music. I would listen to everything from classical to rap and EVERYTHING in between. I really miss my music. I hope to one day be able to hear my guitar again. I've played since I was 6 years old.

One of my main concerns is sleeping after surgery. I know alot of people just lay on the opposite side of the implant and it's not a major problem. But since I will have both ears done at the same time this may be a problem. My husband and I have a TempurPedic bed and pillows (memory foam) and I'm hoping this will help. I've heard that some people have surgery and then the next day they are back to normal. And then I've heard other stories where it takes quite awhile to get back to normal.

My kids are use to being able to come to mommy for anything they need. My husband is very good with the kids, but I'm usually with the kids 24/7 and they usually come to mommy for everything. And I'm also use to being able to take care of them and meet their needs. So this kinda worries me too.

Surgery kinda worries me to. Not so much the surgery but when I wake up after surgery. I have had surgery for different things before and when I wake up I have a tendency to cough alot and have alittle sea sickness (nausea).

If surgery was closer I think I would be alittle better, less time to worry about all this. As of right now my surgery is on the 12th of Feb. But I have also been put on the contact list for cancellations, so if someone hasta cancel their surgery they will call me to fill that slot. But that dosent happen very often so it looks like another month of worryin.

Alittle backgound

Hi. My name is Bobbi. I am 31 years old, married (husband- Jay), and mother of 2 young beautiful children (Josie is 6 and Toby is 2). I live in southern Illinois. I started losing my hearing when I was about 20 years old due to a condition called lupus. My lupus affects my joints and central nervous system. I wore hearing aids from the time I was 23 till I turned 27.

One day I had terrible ringing in my ear.....when I woke up the next morning I had totally lost all hearing in my left ear. Two days later the same thing happened in my right ear. I have been totally deaf ever since. It was quite scary and disorienting at the time. My husband and I knew this could happen.....but you are never really prepared for it to really happen. My daughter was 2 at the time and it was a challenge to just get thru daily routines. I was very lucky in the fact that I am a pretty decent lipreader, although this didn't help me communicate with my daughter cause she didn't properly form all of her words correctly.

At that time my husband didn't even want to consider cochlear implants. He was in shock and had heard alot of myths about them. And we are very much a people of faith. He had the hopes that the Lord would bring back my hearing the same way it left, suddenly and without warning. But after 4 years of me praying, he suddenly started to do some research on cochlears. Jay realized that this might be the answer to our prayers. He realized that sometimes God has a different answer than what you expect. Jay wanted my hearing to come back on its own......but God said how much do you trust me......this is the way I will bring her hearing back.....now what are you gonna do with My answer.

So a couple of weeks ago Jay told me to go ahead and make an appt with the dr I need to see. The nearest one is about an hour away from where I live. And the surgeon is fairly well known across the United States. They had me fax them my last audiogram. They called back (I use a captioning phone so I can talk and what the other person says comes up in text on a screen for me) within the hour all EXCITED. They asked me when was the soonest I could come. I had to wait a couple of weeks because my medicare wasnt in effect until the beginning of the year. So I went to the audiologist. She was EXTREMELY friendly. She started the testing and just as we all knew I am TOTALLY deaf. It was kinda funny cause for part of the test Jay was standing outside the SOUNDPROOF booth and he said that one of the tones was so loud it was like standing near a freight train blowin its horn. Of course I felt some vibration with some of the lower tones.....but I never heard a thing. The audiologist said ok we dont need to do any more test because it would be pointless. She said that I am the PERFECT candidate for bilateral (one in each ear) cochlear implants. I was SHOCKED!!!!!!!! I thought I was just getting my hopes up.......not in a million years did I think they would say yes. Of course everyone that is around me said they knew I was a canidate all along......but I just couldn't believe it.

Well then the surgeon, who is warm, friendly, and has quite a sense of humor, looked at my ears and said I wish I would have had you when this first happened, but you are gonna do exceptionally well with cochlears. Then came the financial talk. UGH!!!!!!! At first they said my insurance will definitely pay for one, but probably not both. I was kinda discouraged, but hey I was at least gonna hear outta one ear right. I could always fight the insurance later for the other ear. Well then the Lord said "HEY, where is the trust thing we was talkin about" Low and behold the next day I talked to the insurance guy at the hospital and he said "Hon, you are on disability (I had to go on disability cause I live in a very rural area of Illinois and once an employer knows you are deaf they find a discrete way to get rid of you), anyway the guy said "Hon you have Medicare thru your disability, your insurance will only cover one, but medicare here ALWAYS approves both. So what your insurance dosent cover on the one ear medicare will pick up and medicare will cover the entire cost of the second ear. It's ALL taken care of." And it felt like the Lord slapped me on the back of my head sayin...."Oh my child of little faith....."

So right now I'm just waiting on my surgery date which is on Feb 12th. They said if they have a slot open up between now and then they will let me know, but as of right now Feb 12th is the go date. I'm gonna try to keep this blog current. I know I have read some blogs and they have been EXTREMELY helpful. Just knowing that what I'm feeling and goin thru is normal and that other people have done this and have come thru all the scary and exciting parts...